You Guys. Go to Mexico City.

Americans have a totally inaccurate idea of Mexico. While films and TV would have you believe that visiting anywhere but the One & Only in Cabo will result in being kidnapped, murdered or afflicted with Montezuma's revenge, the truth is that Mexico is pretty fabulous. After all, there is a reason (many, actually) why Conde Nast Traveler named it the top city to visit last year. Personally, the main reason I want you to go to Mexico City is so you will realize— in case you don't already— why building a wall between our two countries is such an unnecessary and generally stupid idea. But also, so you'll see how incredibly beautiful it is and so you'll have all the amazing mole you can eat. But not burritos. They don't have burritos in Mexico.

Where to Stay

Four Seasons
The adventurous traveler may prefer to skip five-star chains in favor of unique boutique hotels, but in some cities, the Four Seasons is undeniably the best. These cities include Florence, Paris and Mexico City. This stunningly beautiful hotel, located in the chic Condesa neighborhood and walking distance from Chapultapec, will offer you one of the best breakfasts you've ever had, one of the best dinners in the city, probably the comfiest bed in Mexico.

Condesa DF
While the Four Seasons is conveniently located on the bustling Paseo de la Reforma (the street where basically everything important in Mexico City can be found), Condesa DF rests in the heart of beautiful Condesa, surrounded by chic coffee shops, trendy restaurants and lots and lots of trees. Also, it has a divine rooftop bar worth visiting even if you don't check in.

Las Alcobas
While Condesa is the cool West Hollywood of Mexico City, Polanco— the neighborhood where you'll find Las Alcobas— is Beverly Hills. Staying at this chic boutique, you'll be positioned on the Mexican Rodeo Drive, right next door to Hermes and Dior, plus dozens of hot restaurants such as Nobu, Cipriani and Quintonil.

Gran Hotel Ciudad de Mexico
While the Four Seasons is my pick for 363 days of the year, for the other two (November 1 and 2), you've got to stay at the Gran Hotel. Because Dia de los Muertos. Because the first scene in the James Bond movie Spectre. Because the ceiling. Because the views from the roof. Because I said so.

Where to Hang

Chapultapec
The Central Park of Mexico City is twice the size of the one in New York and equally beautiful. Home to two museums, a zoo, a lake and a castle, it's a place you can easily pass the entire day, then walk down the Reforma for a trendy dinner in Condesa.

Condesa
My favorite. The boho-chic neighborhood of Condesa can be compared to New York's Soho or Paris' Saint Germain (also my favorites). Beautiful and affluent, it's also chill and artsy. A haven for dog lovers and double-income-no-kids households, it's a place you can get lost while finding a plethora of great eateries and shops.

Polanco
It's not exactly a cultural experience, but Polanco is super pretty. And while you probably don't need to go to Mexico for luxury shopping, it's still fun to see how they decorate shop windows in this part of the world. When you get tired of walking, most of the city's famous and fabulous restaurants are close by.

Teotihuacán
Forty-five minutes from the center of Mexico City (on the way to the airport) is this vast archeological complex with some of the largest pyramids in the world and something called the Avenue of the Dead. Named "the place where men become gods," it flourished in Mesoamerica's Golden Age, and I guess you could say it still does, since its Mexico's most-visited destination.

Where to Eat

Pujol
The famed restaurant is considered #1 in Mexico and #20 in the world. While the 1,200-day-aged mole is the most obvious reason to recommend the Polanco hotspot, it's the atmosphere that really wows. That is to say, Top 50 restaurants are usually a bit of a bore, but Pujol is the exception. No restaurant can live up to the hype that a two month waitlist creates (Ok, so Tickets in Barcelona can, but whatever), but while the food may not truly be the best, because of it's modern yet luxurious vibe and flawless service, Pujol is everyone's favorite.

*I feel an obligation to share with you that mole which has been aged for 4 years tastes exactly the same as mole that that has not been aged at all. And at any rate, no matter how delicious the mole is, it is better when accompanied with, like, chicken or something. Yes, the mole at Pujol is wonderful, but I find it absolutely silly that the final course of each meal there is a plate of sauce.

Contramar
I haven't mentioned La Roma yet, because it's basically the same as Condesa, but since it hosts two of the city's best restaurants, I now find it necessary. La Roma is an wealthy-but-laid-back neighborhood with less shopping and fewer dogs than Condesa but more amazing food, such as Contramar. It's not new, but this seafood restaurant hasn't slowed down since it opened more than a decade ago. Go for lunch so you can sit outside and people-watch. Also, order flan for dessert.

Quintonil
Oh my Goodness. I cannot event talk about Quintonil right now because it just reminds me that at this exact moment, someone in Polanco is eating at Quintonil and I am not.

La Docena
Also in La Roma and also seafood, La Docena still manages to be a total departure from Contramar. The casual oyster bar is the place the guys at Pujol will tell you to go for better food. I know because after I expressed disappointment in my seabass at Pujol, the maître d told me I'd love La Docena and immediately four people in the vicinity chimed in with their endorsement of the suggestion. Here you will find the best king crab legs of all time and some extremely impressive toro.

#ashtips

Don't hail a cab in Mexico City. Take an Uber or better yet, ask your hotel concierge to hook you up with a driving tour guide for a few hours. They're about $30 an hour and will make you feel much safer while sharing a wealth of information about everything you drive past.

They drink ants and eat worms in Mexico. You're missing out on absolutely nothing by passing on them, but if this intrigues you, I'll tell you that you can find ant drinks at the Four Seasons and worm appetizers at Rosa Negra.

I'm sure I don't have to remind you of this, but don't drink the tap water.

Definitely do eat the street food, though.

Pesos-to-Dollars is about 20-to-1.

Carlos Slim's museum is beautiful from the outside, but not worth touring. It's basically a tasteless collection of junk some rich guy threw together "for the people" so he could pat himself on the back for doing a good deed. There's an entire floor dedicated to art made from ivory, which is grotesque and offensive for all of us who have the tiniest amount of respect for animals. Also an entire floor of coins, which is just dumb. Go to the National Museum of Anthropology instead.

Tipping in Mexico works the same as in the U.S., except that instead of writing in the propina after running your card, you'll tell the server what to add veinte porciento before it is run.

Good news: dining even at the hottest restaurants in Mexico City is shockingly cheap for metropolitan Americans, so you can afford to splurge on after-dinner churros at El Moro. Yay, churros!

If none of the aforementioned hotels quite fit your needs or tastes, try Downtown, La Casona or Red Tree House.

For more restaurant options, check out Azul Condesa, Tori Tori, Rosetta, Biko Dulce Patria, Mog and Belmondo.